Living Boldly with Schizophrenia: My Story of Acceptance

Hi I’m TerBear, and I haven’t a clue what I’m doing or even why I’m blogging. The idea to blog just randomly popped in to my brain, and I’m just following it down the rabbit hole. For years, I lied about having a mental illness. I got extremely good at acting “normal” because as I entered my teens, I realized I was different. I thought everyone saw things like Jesus hanging on the cross blessing me or a group of evil clowns living in the bathroom. After I was diagnosed I wouldn’t tell people I what exactly what my mental illness was. My schizophrenia forced me to fit into a shame base sense of living. I spent my entire life pretending to be normal out of fear of rejection. I was a schizo and didn’t want anyone to know. One morning about a year ago, I was outside enjoying a beautiful sunny day, and I thought of my crazy wishing I didn’t have to live in shame. Then a bold voice shouted, “Who says you have to live in shame?!?” At that moment, I felt empowered to shout it out to the world, “Proud to have schizophrenia!” and f off to anyone who doesn’t like it. I decided to go BOLD. I wear my Schizophrenia Awareness hoodie & T-shirt with pride. I’m schizo and proud of it. I came out of the closet on Facebook, because I am no longer living with the shame society dictates. I found a schizophrenia support group and get so happy that there are others posting what I’m living. They get it! To be honest I share my hallucinations with only 1 person, and only the “good” ones. Here response is always the same, “cool, doobie?” I want to be that friends that says “cool beans” want to normalize mental illness, I want to take away the shame.I guess I empowered myself to go Bold by trying this blogging thing. I should note, I have never actually seen a blog. I only know what I see on TV, and I don’t watch to much of it. So please let me know what I’m doing wrong and right. Thanks for reading. Hugs….have a blessed day.