My plans for this evening were to take a shower and go to bed early. Since, I jumping down this rabbit hole these past 7 days, this project has consumed me. I’m trying to learn everything I possibly can about the process and quickly write a couple of blogs. I of course took care of my dog, McSnortSnort (not his real name) and put stuff appearing to be food into my mouth. Oddly, I stayed caught up with my laundry.🤔 Anyways, I figured I took an extended break from reality by doing this blog, now it’s time to go back to reality. I worked hard; it’s far from the fabulous I expected of myself but that’s okay. Anyways, I was looking forward ending the day early.
So, I’m sitting out at the “green box” unplugging from the day. When God put it on my heart to write about suicide. ASAP! Well, that got my attention, I asked if it could be put off until tomorrow. My heartbeat raced, which I took as a strong NO. I’ve learned over time, if there is anything in my brain cell or heart it must be addressed before sleep is possible. I guess it will be another late night.
From the very beginning of this journey, I decided to make suicide a priority on this site. As a suicide attempt survivor I feel the need to share my experience with the hopes of normalizing the topic. The only way to do that is to have open and honest conversations about suicide. I believe the most effective way of reducing the alarming rates, especially within our children is to educate society bringing out of the closet.
If you are in that destructive darkness and you are still reading this; “Thank you, Lord Jesus there is still hope for this person. Please work your magic on them.” I BEG of you to do 2 extremely difficult things:
- Find something that gives you even the tiniest degree of hope. Fixate on that hope. Make it your reason for living.
- Reach out to someone anyone. I don’t care if it’s your friends & family, a Crisis Line, that stranger walking down the street, God. In the United States you can call or text to 988. I don’t care who you reach out to just reach out to somebody because you are WORTH it.
I know you don’t believe this, but it does get better. The sun ALWAYS comes out after the storm. You found hope. It’s scary to reach out. What if they reject me? What if they think I’m crazy? All those “what if’s” is your fear of living talking. Yes, someone might not hear you, so go to the next person. I believe you will find compassion if you reach out. If you’ve read this far, I’m grateful you hopefully found hope. Please get some professional help to deal with dark void of your life.
If you think someone you know is suicidal, again, “Thank you, Jesus for this amazing person who wants to help. Please give this person strength help another being in pain.” If you suspect something is wrong, you’re probably right. Trust your gut on this one. I want to assure you, if your intentions are good, then anything you do will probably help the situation. If you don’t know what to do for sure, just ask the person your concerned about.. You may get the truth, but by asking it’s showing them that you care. You’re opening the door for them to share their pain. Don’t worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. Be empathic towards that person, try to understand they are in a very dark spot. Try to get them to professional help and be there with them, as they access that help. Care enough about them that it’s safe to be vulnerable with you. Showing up could very possibly save a life. It’s a big ask for you to do this. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to that person, help them find someone who is.
If you are an attempt survivor; “Thank you, Lord Jesus for intervening on this person’s behalf.” Look I get it. I’ve made 5 attempts on my life. I understand the having both anger and relief for not dying. The shame and guilt. Try to find something to be grateful for, and hold on to it. Don’t let this one action define who you are. It takes time but eventually you’ll be glad that you survived. I’m glad you survived. Please seek professional help in dealing with your feelings, to prevent another attempt.
Finally, if you are the loved one of some that committed suicide; “God please offer them strength in learning how to live with their grief.” From the bottom of my heart, I offer my condolences. I honor your grief. I can’t even begin to imagine how traumatic it would be to lose someone that way. I pray that you can coexist with the pain while cherishing your memories. Your loved one will forever live in your heart.
We are in dire need of suicide prevention in the United States. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/) “suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States”. In 2023 there were 49,316 deaths and 1.5 million reported attempts according to the AFSP. Please realize not all attempts were reported, my first 3 attempts were not reported. So actual attempts is much higher then 1.5 million.
Now you see why I feel the need to address suicide prevention. The numbers are too much, and they are only rising. When you break it down by age, the suicide rate among our youth is alarming. Please speak up, ask important questions, and seek help. We must bring down the suicide rates. Don’t let another person become another statistic.
However, you are impacted by suicide, I’m sorry for your situation. If it feels completely unbearable, please get professional help. If your level of emotional pain was a physical pain, wouldn’t you go to the doctor? When you break your leg, do you just suck it up? Of course not, you get treatment. So, finding treatment for emotional pain should be the same as for physical pain. Mental Illness is just that an illness, and there are treatments available that help with darkness and the pain. Please know that you are not alone, there are people out there that care about you.
I hold you in my prayers. Sending hugs your way. Peace & prayers ✌🏼🙏🏼